Marquita Dickerson-Frisby

Marquita Dickerson-Frisby

By Najya Beatty-McLean, The Whetstone

Getting older is a part of growing up, and growing up means learning and discovering new things about yourself. Which is something 20-year-old sophomore Marquita Dickerson-Frisby came to realize as she started to define her sexual orientation.

“I don’t know when I realized I was gay, like I could never tell someone an exact time in my life,” she said. “I guess I’ve always been this way.”

Being labeled as a lesbian is something Dickerson-Frisby does not like.

“I honestly don’t like the word lesbian, I just don’t think it sounds right,” she said. “I would rather be called gay because that’s what I am.”

She is an openly gay African American female, about 5’3, 150 pounds, with short black hair.

“Everyone knows I’m gay,” she said. “I don’t really care who knows or not, though. I’m very open with my sexuality.”

She remembers coming out to her family and friends without a problem.

“Actually, I came out to my parents by accident,” she said. “When I was 15, it kind of just slipped out and my parents were pretty cool about. I didn’t get any negative feedback from them.”

Her friends also are understanding.

“My friends didn’t really care,” she said. “They’re cool and accepting of it. No one close to me has treated me differently since I came out about five years ago.”

“Marquita is a great friend to have,” said junior Betty Lee. “Her sexuality doesn’t affect what I think of her, it’s who she is and I am totally okay with that.”

Dickerson-Frisby wasn’t sure about her sexuality until she got to high school.

“I wanted to wait until I was really sure,” she said. “I went to an all-girls high school and that basically confirmed my sexuality.”

She said nothing happened that helped her come to the realization. It was just something about being surrounded by all girls that made her decide she was 100 percent lesbian.

“Coming out to everyone really didn’t make me feel any type of way,” she said. “I guess I felt happy but more than anything. I was comfortable with telling everyone.”

The fact that no one treated or looked at her differently because of her sexuality helped her, she said.

“There’s no better outcome than that,” she said.

“Marquita being a lesbian made her being President of P.E.A.S that much better,” senior Jake Bradner said. “She actually knows the issues the community is facing and she can also relate to them.”

Unlike most people, Dickerson-Frisby doesn’t think her religion has anything to do with her coming out.

“I’m not really that religious,” she said. “I mean, I was christened when I was younger so I’m technically a Christian but that didn’t play any part of me coming out or anything.”

Dickerson-Frisby said she tries not to think too much about what it is like to be a part of the LGBTQ community. It’s the general prejudice against both gays and blacks that she sees.

“I get backlash from two angles,” she said. “I’m black and I’m gay. Things happen to both kinds of people. A lot of stuff happens too often and I kind of have to pull myself back from it. I sort of dissociate myself in a sense because it’s just so intense that I can’t really react to it.”

One thing she wished she had when finding herself and coming out, is a friend or someone to talk to in general.

“The best advice I can give to someone is to find someone you can talk to, just anyone willing to listen,” she said. “Especially if you are worried about being bashed for what you like. Sometimes people feel like there’s no one there for them, so even if they have one person to tell, it’ll be better for them.”