Brittany Wilson
By Brittany Wilson, The Whetstone
This is my last week as a junior at Wesley College.
After that, I have one year left.
Two semesters.
Only 365 days until all the time, effort, blood, sweat and tears finally pay off.
All the sleep I didn’t get and the 20 pounds I’ve gained will be the last thing on my mind as I walk on stage, shake the president’s hand, and look out into the crowd of familiar faces gathered together for one final lecture, one last goodbye.
Every paper I’ve ever written, exam I’ve taken, class I’ve aced will be summarized in just a few words on a single scroll—an off-white sheet of paper that will hang on display behind a panel of glass, framed on my wall even in the years after Wesley has long forgotten my name.
But a sheet of paper can’t mask my insecurity about what comes after graduation, even if it is supposed to represent a promising future.
What if four years at Wesley College isn’t good enough?
If I’m honest, this insecurity stems from a journalism conference I attended earlier this month in New York City.
The sun glittered through the glass exterior of the New York Times building, transparent and reflective, just like the newspaper itself. As I approached the door, cup of coffee in hand, the glass reminded me of a crystal ball. There, my mirror image stood confidently from inside the building looking out to observe the bustling city as the caffeine slowly crept from the mug into my bloodstream.
I wonder if I’ll ever be good enough to work in some place like this.
Kristen (The Whetstone editor-in-chief) and I walked through the revolving door of the Times and into a crowd of 100 journalism students—all brimming with similar hopes, dreams and motivation. Most of the other students were from fancy universities and states large enough to swallow the entire Delmarva Peninsula in a single gulp.
“You’re from Delaware? Are there any good schools there?â€
“Wesley College? I’ve never heard of it.â€
Standing there, among all those students, my own educational experience began to feel inferior. What do I have that could ever set me apart from people like them in a place like this?
What has Wesley College given me that will make me stand out in a crowd? Is that off-white piece of paper the only thing I will gain from my degree, or will I have an office to hang it in someday?
During the conference, I had a lot of time to mull over these questions, but I couldn’t pinpoint answers, just an aching anxiety somewhere in my gut.
On the ride home, Kristen rolled her eyes at the thought of the other students at the conference.
“They were all so cocky,†she said. “But if you think about it, they don’t do nearly as much as we do.â€
True.
Other college newspapers are staffed with a large number of reporters to assign stories to—most of those editors do not actually write any articles themselves. At larger college newspapers there are editors for every section of the paper—news, sports, opinion, lifestyle—in addition to the Editor-in-chief and Managing editor. We don’t even have that many people on our entire staff. It is very rare that a college newspaper is only printed once a month like The Whetstone is, but it is even rarer for the responsibility of reporting, writing, organizing, editing, formatting and distributing to belong to just two people.
All of these things that appear to be setbacks may actually be considered advantages – Kristen and I have experienced every job position available on the college newspaper in the two years we have been editors for The Whetstone.
Wesley College, in all of its smallness, offers students the opportunity to mold the dynamics of their own education, to prove themselves capable, and excel according to their personal motivation.
You just have to want it.
